Tuesday, May 24

How to Get Him Back When You Were Pushing For More

Sure we get advice that tells us to live life with no regrets. We hear that it's best to not live with the guilt of not knowing and to give it our all.

What harm is there in opening up and sharing our true thoughts and feelings anyway? Especially when it comes to connecting with the man in our life. He should be there for us, and comforting our every word. Ya...right...

How often do you hear of a women never having had to even hint at giving her number, or setting-up that first date, or getting him to be exclusive, or...?

In most situations, a woman wants to speed the emotional connection along, while the guy will keep the status quo if nothing is said, or done about it.

What is so wrong with us women telling the guys we want to be their girlfriend, or we want to get married to them? You'd think they'd be swinging from the rafters, those lucky guys.

But what about the guys that start humming and hawing, if not packing up, when even a whisper of pressure (or what they perceive to be pressure out of simply communicating) comes off of our lips?

Yes, we know that guys as a whole aren't commitment-phobic. We always hear the story of how a guy wouldn't take the next step with a women he was in a relationship with for a long while, yet he had no problem proposing within a couple of months to the next girl.

Indeed it is men who initiate 85% of the marriage commitment, by proposing.

It doesn't matter if you're auditioning to be the next Victoria's Secret model, if a guy is not 'ready' for marriage, there is nothing you can do to convince him.

If he is 'ready', he may not be ready for you. And no amount of telling him that you two are God's gift to the world will convince him otherwise.

So what do you do when you pushed him away with your persistence and eagerness for marriage?

Frankly, I need to tell you that a truly great guy wouldn't even have you bring up the future 'cause he would be initiating it.

Or a decent guy wouldn't cringe at the thought of you bringing up marriage. He may not be 'ready' for you just yet, but he definitely wouldn't start packing.

And if the guy you're with zipped up his suitcase, because the only thing you did was to give him your LOVE, then unzip his suitcase, take your heart out, and then throw his suitcase after him as he closes the door.

Honestly, if I tell you any differently, I would be doing you and other truly remarkable women, a great dishonor.

Besides, beauty is NOT the most important criteria for a man in choosing his wife. The most important factors are having a positive outlook and self-confidence. Also high on the list is self-respect.

A man wants to marry and be with a woman that knows her worth. And if you are living your life insecurely and unhappily 'cause he won't commit to you, you have lowered your own self-worth in your life, and in his eyes. How attractive is that?

But you can't fake that you don't want a commitment just to keep him or get him back. He will see right through it.

Either you go back to him and get more of the same (think: misery), and hope he will change (good luck),

or you wish your newly-acquired old boyfriend well (don't forget to blow a sarcastic kiss good-bye),

or whether you are with him still or not, you really work on your self-esteem, self-confidence, self-image, self-worth, and all those other 'self' words, and then decide if YOU really do want to be with him. (Not about HIM choosing you.)

or once you've changed for the better, decide that he's simply become a road block in the way for finding that someone that truly shows you the world!

-xo Kat

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